Closet Walmart Shoppers

Why do so many people make excuses for shopping at Walmart? These are actual excuses I have heard:

"The other day I was at Walmart, its the only place open at 2:00 AM you know."
"I was at Walmart - only because my car broke down in front of it."
"I would have gone to Target, but Walmart was on the way and I had to pee."

A few months ago Roland was at Walmart in the bread isle. He was looking for the Pepperidge Farms Cinnamon Swirl Bread. A woman from church stopped to visit and he complained about not being able to find the bread. She instantly said, "Oh, its right there! Not that I ever shop here. I just saw it." And then she blushed.

She could have been blushing because most women blush around my manly man. But we both think the real reason was that she (or anyone else) didn't want anyone to think she was the "Walmart Type".

I understand why people don't like Walmart. I'd much rather be at Costco and King Soopers. And I can't think of a worse place to be on a Saturday afternoon. But if you go early in the morning it's kinda nice:

1. You can go without getting dressed. Just roll out of bed, no need to put on a bra, slap on those flip flops, and shop. You'll fit right in.
2. You can get everything from WeedEater oil additive to Fancy Swedish Cookies to a thong that has pink pompoms on it, all in one place.
3. You can get your oil changed and tires rotated while looking at Halloween Costumes.
4. Slippers for $5. By a pair for each winter month. Throw them away when they look worn. (please do not buy walmart shoes. They look ugly and hurt your feet. Invest in good shoes).
   
5. They have 2 rows of candy not too far from the fighter fish.
   
6. Got bratty kids? They are welcome at Walmart! As are their grumpy moms!
7. They have a fabric department. No, I don't sew, but I think about sewing sometimes.
8. Super low prices.

My new trendy Patent Leather Purse: $15 Guess how happy my son was to model it?
Sure it will fall apart before Halloween. But I'll be tired of it by then.

The original purpose for my post was to share with you my latest new favorite kitchen tool. But I realized that I bought it at Walmart and suddenly I felt a slight need to defend my reason for going there. That of course, lead to this rather long, rambling rational of why we should proudly shop at Walmart.

So, here is my coolest little gadget, proudly purchased as an impulse item at WALMART.

This knife sharpener is a dream come true! We got nice knives for our wedding (24 years ago!) and never once have I had them sharpened. They were so dull they could hardly slice tomatoes. Taking them in to be sharpened seemed like too much of a hassle and expensive so I splurged on this cool little machine.

All my knives were super sharp in about 10 minutes. Knives that were so dull they couldn't cut bread were slicing through steak like butter. Bring over your dullest knife and let me sharpen it for you! Mine won't need sharpening for a few more weeks and I want to use it!

Just be careful if you get this handy tool. I have shaved off the tops of 2 fingernails because my knives are so sharp. It makes meal prep so much easier.

Available at Walmart for $29.95.