Wade Smith - My Hero

We have been pretty busy with my father-in-law lately. In October he was admitted to the hospital and since then he has gone from acute care to assisted living with several hospital visits in between. Through all of this Wade tries to maintain a good attitude. He has every right to be difficult and frustrated (and sometimes he is). But mostly he tries to keep his dignity. As he suffers silently, it is the doctor who tells us how bad Wade feels, not Wade. The people who care for him love him. He makes them laugh and will immediately tell them that he loves them. Mentally he is sharp.

Wade Smith in 1952 - 26 years old

He flat out refuses to move in with us. Yesterday we finally had to move him into a long term facility (a nice name for a nursing home).

Nursing homes are not a place I want to be. You’ve all been in one so you know what I mean. The one he is in is probably just like the ones you have been in - if they were older facilities filled with old people.

We love this dear man and want him in a good place where he can get the full time care he needs. Chris and I went to check this place out and we felt it would be okay for him mostly because of what we saw in the staff. The place has the nursing home smell and is overly warm, but the staff was cheerful, attentive and there was a good feeling as we got the grand tour of the place.

Friday found Chris and I in his newly vacant room (can you guess where the previous resident is now?). This is the second time in 1 month that Chris and I have created a home in a place that Wade doesn't think is a home. Except this time it was a challenge. It is a small room shared with a man who is non communicative. There is a hunter green curtain (sheet?) that separates their spaces. It was bleak, it was depressing, it was the last place you would want to spend the rest of your life. So we got to work.

A few plants. Fresh flowers. A heavy duty air freshener. Pictures on every blank wall space - and what happy pictures they are! Weddings, babies, reunions, newlyweds, bright fresh high school seniors, happy loving families, all of them exist because of Wade. They are his.

War medals proudly displayed so people know this is not a feeble old man - this is Charles Wade Smith, Devoted Husband, Tireless Father, Highly Decorated War Hero. A man of integrity and great strength who just happens to be stuck in this frustrating body that won’t do what he needs it to do.

Wade needs to be reminded of this too.

I wasn't there when Wade was admitted to the nursing home. But I wanted him to feel like he was home. I was nervous. Would he see how the old facility is? Would he realize that the last man in the room is no longer on earth? Would he notice how very different it was from his real home? Probably. But maybe he could find some hominess there.

Roland said when Wade went in his room the first time he looked at the family pictures, the medals, the books and was quiet for a moment before he said, "This is a nice place."

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Wade would love to hear from you. You can email me with a letter for him and I will print and deliver it. Or you can email Mike or Roland for the address of Wade's new home.