The Movie of 1,000 Questions

If an average movie is 120 minutes long (2 hours right?) and you watch it with Ike you will be asked an average of 120 questions.

Tonight we watched “Phantom of the Opera” for FHE (trying to give the kids some culture). Ike asked questions non-stop:

“Are those statues made of solid gold?”
“Are they really kissing?”
“How much do you think the dancers in the back get paid?”
“What is under the mask?”
“How do they make the man look like he is really hanging in a noose?”
“Are any of the actors famous? Is that Ashton Kutcher?”
“Wait! Who is the old guy again?”
“Do you think they like kissing each other or are they just pretending?”
"Isn't he like 100 years old and she is only 16? That is gross!"
“So…did she end up marrying the count?”

Then there were other statements that weren’t quite questions just demands for attention. Each statement must be announced by yelling my name until I make eye contact with him:

“Mom! If I were the Phantom I would stand on the roof and yell ‘It’s freakin cold up here and I have to sing!?!’ Get it mom! Mom? ”
“Mom! If I was sword fighting in a graveyard I would chop the statue’s head off and throw it at the Phantom and he would splatter blood everyplace!” (This is why we won’t be watching The Shining any time soon.)

Because it was FHE I tried really hard to answer each question and observation with the gentle kindness of the mothers I have seen in Church produced videos. I think I need some chocolate as a reward for my patience and long suffering.

It is time to go tuck Ike in. I know he will ask me the same bedtime question he has been asking for the last 2 weeks, “Mom! (always use a loud excited voice while jumping on the bed) Mom! Can I please go as the lead singer of Flock of Seagulls for Halloween? PLEASE! (let a note of long suffering desperation enter your voice)”

How would you answer that question?