Field Trip

Yesterday I sat down to blog a beautiful blog. The kind of blog you would print and post on your bathroom mirror (amid the toothpaste splatters) to inspire you to live a better life. After I blogged the best blog I've ever blogged I planned to make meals for the sick, visit the afflicted, do some tantric yoga, polish off the best girl's camp in the history of Colorado, clean the toilets with a toothbrush, and fluff my mulch. Just as my blogging brain was kicking in the phone rang.

Ike, with a little desperation in his boy voice: "Mom, you ARE coming to chaparone the field trip right?"
Me, slightly exasperated: "WHAT!?"
Ike: "You have a group of 4 kids. We are leaving in 10 minutes."

I think a funny reality show would be to have moms race to get ready in 10 minutes. They would all start with smelly greasy hair, used workout clothing, permeating musky BO, an empty closet, shoes scattered from one end of the house to the other, a ripe pimple, 10 appointments to cancel, and missing car keys just for the heck of it.

I squealed into the school parking lot just as the kids were loading the bus. The "moms who judge" glared at me for breaking the 5 miles per hour parking lot rule. Ike was embarrassed. I was sweaty. Sweaty and hungry. And slightly frazzled.
When was the last time you were on a school bus? Holy cow! There is NO leg room. We spent a total of 3 hours on that bus.

We saw amazing sights at the museum of natural history in Denver. I thoroughly enjoyed watching Ike and his fellow classmates tear the place up. In one of the areas there was a large drawing of a completely naked man from the 1700's. The boys were obsessed with it. They giggled and sneaked around it, making jokes and showing off.

Look closely in the display case. Can you see what is in there?

Here is a close up. Realism in Taxidermy. See the blood?

On the ride home the kids sat in the back of the bus and sang: I Know A Song That Gets On Everybody's Nerves, This Is The Song That Never Ends, Bingo, and John Jacob Jingle Hymer Smith over and over at the top of their little 11 year old lungs.

They were perfectly confident in their merriment. They are the coolest kids in school, top of the dog pile, leaders of all thing elementary. Even as I marveled at their capacity to make noise, it made me melancholy.

Next year they all go to middle school. I have been through middle school with 3 kids already. The bus rides home will be very different. Why, oh why, oh why can't they have one more year in the warm embrace of elementary? I won't be at all surprised to find out that the devil was the one behind the idea of middle school.

So, yesterday's blog to you was usurped by a wadded up unread note in the bottom of Ike's grimy backpack. I am glad I got to go on the field trip. It was probably the most exciting field trip I have ever been on and it was definitely my last. They don't do field trips in Middle School.