Band Practice

Four years ago we bought drums.

Christmas 2005- Ike on fiddle, Noah on drums,
Hannah on Guitar, Uncle Joe on Guitar, Gabe in red Tabasco PJs.

It was the best and worst thing we have ever done as parents. In order to understand why it was the best and worst thing, I have to describe “band practice”.

Before band practice actually starts you have to have a band name. Here are the names of the bands that have practiced at our house:

Gabe’s Bands:

*- Band of note. Nice music with a good rhythm and fairly nice vocals sung in tune. No screaming, cussing or dark lyrics.

Terror Tenkill
Caliber 44
Silence Do Goods*
Piss N’ Shi7 (shocking, I know)

Noah’s Bands:

The Communicators*
The Checkmates
Manhattan Project
Misery Has Company (pretty miserable band)
Birdcage Band
Strawberry Stillwater* (my favorite band so far – nice kids – a little hippie)
Revacco

Gabe and Hannah - Christmas 2005

Hannah never really had band practice, the drums showed up just as she was doing student council, applying to colleges and saving the world. But she would join the occasional band practice as a guest jammer, if you will. She plays the guitar rather well.

Gabe and Hannah Rock out in the garage - Boise 2006

Gabe started the first band. The first month of band practice is the most trying on parents. As soon as they found a drummer who could keep rhythm things got better. I called my friend, Rosanna, whose husband is a rocker and asked her if it was supposed to be so LOUD. She said yes. Yes, it will be loud and you just have to take it if you want band practice at your house.

Before buying drums or having band practice at your house, consider the following...

WHY IT IS THE WORST THING:

Noah’s new band and Gabe’s last band don’t fit the following. The following description is of Gabe’s first few bands:

1. The band comes about 30 minutes before your child finishes their chores, homework, or piano practice. Some of them are friendly and some refuse to make eye contact with adults.

2. They bring in 40 guitars and 50 amps and cords and big gulps and starbucks.

3. They turn up each amp to see if they can outplay each other. Then they play for 2 hours. There is no escaping the noise of their “practice”. Towards the last 30 minutes of practice I am ready to tear the head off of anyone who talks to me. It is like having fingernails on a chalkboard for 2 hours.

4. When you walk into the garage/basement after band practice you can smell the testosterone.

5. Child begs to have a “house show” (messy, selfish, destructive kids tear up your house/garage while the band plays). We say NO emphatically. We are accused of not supporting child. (Umm…have any other parents volunteered to host band practice and feed the band once a week?)

6. Teenagers from all over town start showing up to watch band practice. I answer the door and fight the urge to give the girls Roland’s t-shirts to wear. They are spilling out the tops of their shirts and pants. Some of the girls are too cool.

After 2 painful months of this – something happens and they start to click. Practice is still loud but I can suddenly tap my toes during it.

Now most of the previous examples I have used are from Gabe’s bands. Noah has been in 3 bands and is finally settling down with a nice group. My favorite band so far – Strawberry Stillwater. This is how they describe themselves: Psychedelic Folk.

"The Stillwater Siblings were born in a cabin with two rooms. One room had the bed. The other had the instruments. Being as there were no other people around for 400 miles, they each mastered a variety of these musical instruments. In 2006, a man named Johnny Explosion visited their hermit parents and exclaimed to himself "THIS MUSIC IS GOOD!". Therefore, he brought them into the big city where they discovered electrical music. They quickly integrated the style. The music is very good. Ride it. Let it appease your senses. Amen."

WHY IT IS THE BEST THING:

1. I know what is going on in their lives. I feed them dinner and find out what is happening. I can tell who is a good influence and who needs constant supervision.

2. Various girls show up to act as groupies. Some of them abandon band practice to follow me around the house, telling me about their lives. Some of them need a mom. I am happy to fill in until their moms get with it.

3. Once the band jells I enjoy practice. After a few months most of the band members trust me not to lecture them so they start warming up to me. (A few weeks ago they were doing a screamo song and I barged in and said, “Stop. You can’t do that. It sounds like Satan is in the basement.” They all laughed and I haven’t heard screamo since.) We become friends – kinda.
4. I feel proud of these kids and the hard work they put into band practice. They take it seriously.

5. We can influence the environment and what is happening at “band practice”.

6. It keeps my kids home.

Noah’s band is practicing right now. They are getting ready to play at an assembly. They have a show next Saturday night at Pikes Perk. They sound fairly good, they have lots of fun together, they sale t-shirts with the band name. They are good kids and I can tell they have parents who are good people. I like them all. After practice they come upstairs and play Wii and eat all my food. It is fun.

So, you have been warned. Drums can be both a blessing and a curse.