A week ago I read an article from "The Sun". The article was about giant fleas in the Midwest. What a ludicrous idea, I thought.
Apparently, these fleas have been mutated by chemicals in pesticide, yada yada yada, you know, the whole "Godzilla monster" thing. The article consisted of facts that they suck the blood dry out of small dogs, chickens, and the lot.
Book club discussion question: Is reading this immature fifteen-year old rambling on worth your precious time? Why? Explain.
So I thought "hey. since the Midwest is in Iowa, wouldn't these fleas eventually reach civilization, and then children would be at risk?
Well, this is a national crisis, apart from the sea having to many fish, it is probably the number ONE crisis in the whole entire city of AMERICA(I continued to think). We must find a way to solve this.
I recommended:
- First and foremost, having president Bush fly over the area in a helicopter and frown.
- Planning comities with lots of doughnuts
- Arming everyone in Iowa with tennis rackets
- Sterilizing all of the male fleas and allowing them to paratroop after we get hold of them
- Capitalism
- Beef Jerky
But I'm all for those abominable fleas coming straight over the mountains to attack Colorado. Some of my neighbors have these little dogs that are about the size of the cotton puffs that they put in the aspirin to frustrate you. They bark allot(the dogs. not my neighbors) and I would like nothing more than to watch a giant flea suck the life out of them.
Book club discussion question: What annoying things do your neighbors do? Why? Explain.
Some police reports state that these fleas are dangerous and can jump up to fifty feet without warning. So approach with caution, because if you happen to be next to the flea, it won't turn to you and say "You might want to back away, I'm about to jump without warning fifty feet into the air"
Book club discussion question: Do you think that a flea would talk about such things? Do you think that a flea would have good manners? Explain.
"The Sun"'s headline for that issue stated that "Giant Flying Cat Terrifies Chicago Once Again". Further research and then my brain decided that every word in that statement was true besides "Giant", "Flying", "Once", and "Again".
Well thank you for listening to my story.
Lovezez,
-guest blooger Noah
Book club discussion question: What's wrong with this kid? Is he crazy or just insanely funny? Explain.
7 comments:
#1. Yes, because he is funny and I am related to him, and I just was reminded how cool he is and that maybe (if I'm lucky) funny runs in the family genes. Besides, precious time spent reading about giant fleas is time well spent.
#2. I have no idea what ShoGun is, but now I think I need to check it out--maybe on Netflix.
#3. Our neighbor's dog is pooping on our front lawn--and they pick it up, but only once every couple of days. That is annoying, but they are nice people. We want to get one of those doggie silouette signs (a dog crouched in a pooping posture) with the word NO! (exclamation point included) on it, it is funny, and applicable, but we don't want to offend our neighbor.
#4. I don't think a flea would talk of such things or have very good manners. I expect that they are very rude, self absorbed individuals who will ruthlessly do whatever it takes (jump 50 feet) to suck some blood.
Kudos to the guest blooger! Encore encore encore!
Insanely funny.
The part about your neighbor's dogs made me laugh. Out loud. Like, LOL. LOLLLLL (really loud laughing).
I vote for more guest blogging from Noah, and Ike (and Hannah, Gabe and Roland, too). Very nicely done.
I vote for more guest blogging. Absolutley hilarious-especially the ending.
Noah has been checking for comments everyday. I wouldn't be surprised if he got his own blog.
I love the part about the neighbor's dogs. I hate dogs. ESPECIALLY little ones. I also hate the little bits of cotton they put in medicine bottles. I always seem to need to open a new bottle in the middle of the night and can't get the cotton out in the dark.
how can you hate dogs?
i love dogs! especially annoying ones!
-noah
Noah is a fun and clever guy. I like the book club discussion questions.
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