Resolve

I don't have much resolve.
I like to plan.
I like to dream.

I visualize myself successfully meeting the 2010 goals: the Ensigns are dog earred, the house is organized, the family prayers are reverent, my body rocks, my soaring career is satisfying, and my passport has 4 new stamps. But the actual work to get there discourages me to the point where I grab a bag of Christmas candy and a book (The Help) and hide in my room.

Noah wants us all to sit down and share our goals for 2010. Hannah's goal is to do a pull up on a door frame. That is a goal I like. It requires strength and determination and you can do it at a party to impress people. They would extrapolate all kinds of flattering details about me from that one feat.

Perhaps my biggest resolve for 2010 is to have more resolve. To apply myself more earnestly and more honestly. I don't really need a list of "Things I Need To Do Better" that would be an endless list. I just need to continue on, resolved to be the person I was meant to be.

Roland recently printed up a quote from Nelson Mandela for the fridge. It pretty much sums up my need for resolve:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

So, I will liberate myself from my own fear and resolve to have more resolve in 2010.

And you? What are your goals for 2010?